Wow, it’s been a long time since I even touched this thing. Well, I’m back, spilling my beans. I’m having a lot of trouble sleeping. Going through a break-up is really hard. Why is it things that are a part of life so tough? It’s the loneliest process I’ve ever experienced. Maybe because it was my first…what everything?! I think it’s the failure of trying and embarrassment of being played like a dog. Being treated like crap by someone who once treated you like a queen is mind blowing sometimes. You go through these crazy emotions but the strongest one is sadness. The best one is acceptance.
As I spent the afternoon with a friend of mine, who happened to be a male, I was able to really vent and got an interesting prospective of how to move forward. Forgiveness is soo needed to heal. I imagine carrying this kind of pain is destructive. I see women all the time just angry, so thirsty for a man they will do anything then end up bitter. I just can’t do it. It’s not me nor will it ever be. I don’t have a desire to befriend everyone I meet, but I am in search of a deeper connection. I don’t know what my future holds but it’s going to be good. I know I’m not a bad person just a 26 year old lady with some flaws.
Being alone shows you what you have done to get here. I see things from such a different perspective it isn’t even funny. I think I’m going to be even better for the next man or who knows maybe the original?! Only God knows, when He tells me to make a move, I’ll move. For now, I’m forgiving him out of love and obedience from the Lord. I’m in a peaceful place where I think joy fills my soul. Yeah, you know what? I’m am happy because I did what I was told to do and all things do work out for the best.
Peace and Love,
Rest in Peace 3rd Fetus…
Till Next Time
-Mackleen
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